The NEXT Post

Well I have been told that dead blogs are rife with apologies for not posting often enough, so I will refuse to do so. So there. I seem to be a little out of synch today, as the moon is now in Taurus, but I am listening to Haydn. Oh well classical music is fairly "Taurus" itself, isn't it. At any rate, I have donned my breeches and applied my powdered wig, and am rarin' to go.

I am going to try to make this blog, and perhaps its soon to affixed website, the happiest possible cyber place on Earth for me, nay- for the entirety of Creation. Even though it may in fact at times look a little journalesque, this is a necessary part of the whole phenomenon known as "blog". Think of it this way: in 1666 it was called Samuel Pepys diary, and now it is considered a literary masterpiece, ( Sir Butthead:" He said masterpiece hehehhheheehheh.. Sir Beavis yeh. hehhehmmhmhmm. I don't get it." ) even though the diary includes a neat catalogue of romantic encounters the author had with himself. At least there will be none of that here: I am no romantic.

Ah, what the Hades, this one will be about classical music, and my opinons about it, which shall stand as commandments into the upcoming millenia.

I first became interested in classical music (that is WESTERN classical music- if you think this connects to country/western, you might be on the wrong page- try http://www.beersoakedbillysaul.com/). By the byway, I love eastern music, just that I will whine about that at a later date. Man, is that sentence over yet? What a grammatical abomination (tm) this is! I will go ahead, as the sentence may not end until some time next week.

Strangly enough.

I played some classical music in the concert band from 7th to 12th grade, but maybe "played' is no the right word. "Mutilated" is the right word. I couldn't really get a sense of how fantastic some of this music was, and also we never played anything challenging, like Beethoven's 7th symphony or whatever. We needed to lie down for weeks after "Forward".

I was aware that my mother had a small collection of classical records, although she almost never played them. She usually waited til we kids were out of the house so we wouldn't start snickering at whatever she had on. I do remember coming home early once and catching her in the act of listening to Beethoven. I really loved this music, and we talked about it. I think this was in high school. I was very surprised to find out that I really liked some music my mother liked, after having already embarked on a career of listening to music that threatened everything that she held sacred. So there I was, dazed, with decomposing Beatles records in hand, wondering where to go from there.

The classical thing faded for a bit as I was distracted by things like college, girls who would never give me the time of day in a post-apocalyptic nightmare world, an especially crummy period in new pop music, a growing interest in The Kinks, and most importantly: Pizza. This was not to last long- I was rescued from this stupefication by three important events: The election of Ronald " Well, where is my diaper, Mommy" Reagan, the assassination of John Lennon and the advent of New Wave. I went on a rollercoaster ride of a life, which I will go into somewhat in later blogs, but one of the more "boring" results of this was buying cheap classical records. Bach could be had for a buck, Mozart for a mere pittance. I couldn't believe this. A rare Frank Zappa album could set you back a small fortune, but this amazing, wonderful, timeless music was going for bird seed.

So I spent so much of my time listening to this great music. In my car I had Mozart's Jupiter Symphony, Hadyn' s "Surprise" and "Clock", as well as "Never Mind the Bullocks" of course. Times of high hilarity.

To male a drab story even duller, after years of learning about classical music, the " favs" remain more or less the same. Beethoven is my favorite, almost everything that he wrote. Hadyn is a close second- he is an originator, and his music is filled with such direct life. I like some of Mozart, but am not always in the mood. Of course all of these character could be jokers: Beethoven in at the end of the third movement of the 7th symphony for example, but Mozart is sometimes too consistently playful for my tastes. What an ingrate I am- even the greats get criticized. I love Bach and Vivaldi, but sometimes I am not in the mood for the structure of Baroque music. Of the romantics, Chopin is the only one that I regularly like to hear. His waltzes are some of the best, most original music of any kind I think- they sound like small symphonies for piano. Vagner- nah. Liszt-nope Berlioz- nuh uh. These guys lose too much structure in my opinion and I just don't enjoy listening to them, they get on my nerves. Seems like there is too much "art" in their compositions, and not enough "soul" of course this crime can be committed in all forms of music, but it especially ruins classical I think. I love passages of Tchaikovsky, but listening to the entirety of any of his music causes me the same trouble.

My God, how serious this post is! I will subject myself to Ren and Stimpy viewing Clockwork Orange style until I collapse at depth and allow a sense of humor to enter my life again.

I will end this with a few things:

1) Please take part in my Classical Music Poll!
2) Enjoy the Video of the Moment (link below)
3) Publishers: I have all kinds of great manuscript around the house...insulating, wrapping fish, and setting my hamster's fracture.. if you can help me out, please do! I plan to showcase some already completed stuff here in the future.

The Video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxM9UG0nuUI&feature=related

And a musical surprise:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECmvesH3wqk (careful of volume!)

Blog Blog Blog... Blog is all you need...

Well, it has finally happened. I have broken down and gotten myself a blog, even while disliking the term, and fully realizing that it is more or less a pseudonym for low-cal website. I have to see how well my cheapness can flourish and outdo itself. If I get the gumption at some point, I may add all kinds of loot to this contraption. We will see. If there is tremendous public outcry to my neglecting this creation, I may relent and add my website for example. Only time will smell. But first a little about you. Very little, as I know nothing about you, other than the fact that you are an underemployed time-squanderer like myself. Isn't it great? What is this world coming to btw? What about them wars? Them unnatural disasters? If you are game, I can use astrology to explain them. Otherwise, it must be all God's fault as usual... for those of you wondering who I am, please refer to the biographical information that will exist at some point in the future. Since it seems impossible to find even tattered images for free on the Internut (tm), I think we will all have to use our imaginations for the time being. I wouldn't want to accidently profit millions from the use of some out-of-focus image from someone's girl scout camera. When I buy some virtual crayons, I will render some images in the worst possible way. What is it like here, you reprimand? Well I took hot advatage of the land giveaway going on in antartica, and can tell you that it is more of a cozy bargain than one might imagine. The only real drawback, other than being periodically gored by an elephant seal, or crazed geologist, is that in place of rent I have to climb down long narrow tubes to manually collect core samples once a month. A small price to pay for infamy though...Final note for now: don't let 'em fool you, the US economy is piping hot! Unemployment has been eliminated. Of course benefits, fulltime jobs, even conventional part time jobs are a thing of antiquity. Now, however, the govrnment is offering packages of subatomic "microjobs" each pouch contains about a billion tiny jobs. Each job itself is next to effortless, but when they are all put together you can work up quite a sweat. They pay extremely well, the only drawback being that they pay in coin per job, and you won't be able to to cart all the pennies home to your piggy bank! Oh well... by the time you get your microsalary organized there will be a new regime. Maybe they will help us out.

Here is the video of the arbitrary time period:

Hare Krishna!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JdmuPKgNVI