Cauda Equina Syndrome

Yes, I know what you are saying- one of the greatest bands of the 70s and what a shame they had to die choking on each others' vomit. But what great creative output until they were so cruelly taken away from us. Actually this is just the alarming notice of the week, and I just wanted to let you know in advance, if the next time you see me I am in a wheelchair or whatever. I hurt my back, and of course I am worried about the worst possible thing, even though the symptoms don't exactly fit. I guess the thing that is bothering me the most is that both legs seem to be involved, which suggests to me that the spine in being compressed, or that two discs went nuts at the same time, which doesn't seem too likely. Anyway I will keep you posted, because I know that you care deeply about my health.

Could this be any more fun??? Life is just designed to frustrate, or maybe you are just luckier than I am. It is like pulling teeth to get anything done, you wait and wait for something to go the way you want it- finally things look great. But there is always a deception.. if it was as good as you thought it was, then something must intervene to prevent it from happening- something horrific with your health as an example. Someday you will be happy on this planet, won't you? I am so sure that I will be accused of being a pessimist, but this comes out of long hard thought an experience. I sometimes wish I could forget this point of view, and go back to basking in the glow of the latest excitement, but I can't, and looking back at those times they were short, and always interrupted by miseries of various flavors.

I guess we are just very unfortunate animals. We have the brains to fully understand exactly how damned we are. It would be more fun to be a waterbuffalo. But God will comfort me as I die. Only if he is kind enough to let them shoot me full of Morphine

Abdominal Adhesions

I don't know that this is what I am going to write about, it could just be a marketing ploy. It will have very little to do with abdominal adhesions. I just wanted to let all of my fans know that I think they are forming as we speak, embracing me with their icy tentacles. So if you don't hear from me for a long time, it could be that, or something else.

I found a small lizard the other day. I didn't try to catch him just watched him as he pretended to be a scorpion. He was small and fairly docile, so I left him alone.

I found her on that afternoon we had both expected we would get along. Instead we stayed for dinner. She wouldn't eat anything, just stared at the whole time. What did that mean? What did any of it mean? Could it it be pressed into poetry that she pulled from my core? Now nothing feels beautiful although I can still see beauty. Nothing feels wonderful although I still wonder about everything that you said, and why I was in love with you. There were many others who were better looking, who had a better voice, who even liked me a little. But I loved you, and I always will, no matter how many gods and men tell me I am damned when I see you even in my mind we are always together, no matter who holds you tonight how can I change my very being?


Eyes meet for the first time
Just like the last time
See castles in ruins by the seaside
Four princesses crying for princes
Who have never lived
Or was it in Egypt I held you close
Radiating the warmth of the sand
Close to the life giving river
Drowned in our bliss
We kept returning
And once it was on the hottest day of the year
Sky purple and cloudy
Smell of rain round your ears
I kissed you knowing we would die together
Over and over
In every corner of the universe
Looking for a home
In the unlimited emptiness.


Your turn.

I Need a Lover who will Tear Off my Face

Actually this refers to a crude rehashing of his own song title that John Cougar Melonhead dashed off in an 80s concert that I wish I couldn't remember. To be perfectly frank, well it is easier to be perfectly Phil actually.. I really wanted to write this about two pressing issues of the day 1) Chimps who tear the faces off people, and of course the logically connected concept of racism.

I will start with the second one. I am sorry, but I in no way believe that that silly cartoon was supposed to have any racist connection. I feel I am pretty sensitive to this issue, ( not oversensitive though) and I think this is another one of those real stretches. The outcry is over it having some connection to Obama I suppose, but where? how ? Congress wrote the bill, and I think the comparison was supposed to be between the keen insight of a rabid chimp and the deep thought behind the stimulus bill. I have to say that I am a lifelong democrat and support the efforts of our new president (who is a decent hard-working man) and congress until they prove unworthy of that support, and maybe even beyond that, because the alternative ( The Pure Evil Party) is something I don't even like to think about, and the rancid damage that it has brought to us all in the last 8 years has been abundantly evinced.

For the cartoon to be connected to Obama via a means other than fearful delusion, there would have to be something more obvious, like the old fashioned editorial cartoonist's trick of writing the words "president" or "Obama" on the character. You know editorial cartoons regularly caricature and twist humans of all descriptions into gargoyles and every zoological species imaginable, and I suppose that is ok, just so no one with a (in my opinion) sweaty overactive imagination can construe the evil of racism being intended. Sure its ok to compare him to a gerbil, that is much more flattering. I really think to find intentional racist lampooning these you would need to embark on a subscription to Nazi Reader's Digest ( there is a fine oxymoron.. and oh no, I might be injuring the delicate sensibilities of Nazis!!!.. and THAT comment might make someone think am Hitler's love child.. Help!!!!! It never stops.) This whole PC business needs to get a job/life YESTERDAY. If someone is breaking the law, arrest them. If they are just being ignorant, or silly, or even deserve the benefit of the doubt- IGNORE them. Really a chimp comparison hits all of us directly in the evolutionary tree... well I'll be a monkey's uncle! No, but maybe a grrrrrrreeeeeaaaaat grand nephew of a Miocene ape. Going back further in the family reunion we all are a kind of a son-of-a -tetrapod. Who cares.

NOW onto the most pressing issue of all, Chimps who rip peoples' faces off. 1) DON'T buy a chimp as a pet, visit him in his natural habitat, the circus. I mean, how could that woman be so silly- sleeping and showering with him? She is a NUT!!! And this brings to mind the general category of people who donut really understand animals: they treat them like substandard humans, or cute li'l kids.....They are animals! Not subservient to you, they have their own right to live their life as they choose. Now if we have a humane, long standing relationship with a species, I think that there is not animal cruelty involved. Dogs got sick and tired of ripping our faces off around the time of the dawn of civilization, and now they milk us ruthlessly for the gravy train that we are. Really it is a kind of mutually rewarding "partnership" and that is ok. SO are humane zoos. I haven't made up my mind about circuses yet. I left gnawing on bones for my breakfast by the wayside myself, so eating my friends is no longer an option. You should cut down on the carcasses too if you are ready to make the decision. Keep it low fat too. I found out vegan doesn't really mean 3 gallons of soy ice cream a day.

ANYWAY, here are some stories we will be reading soon. Man killed by pet Gila monster brushing his teeth after a feeding; Komodo Dragon lashes owner's legs off, while he was trying to change the lizard's lip stick...; Woman rushed to hospital trying to put ballerina outfits in her pet black widows...maybe the worst insult is to compare someone to a human being...

" Everybody's got the right to speak their mind.. so don't shoot me for sayin' mine.." R D. Davies, The Kinks